In the army now.

Here in wainwright, Alberta actually ever since i joined the army in August 06 i have picked up a few things that they did not tell you when i first joined. here are some tips for those who want to join. Learn from my Fuck ups.

1. when given 15 mins to eat. time does not start when you get your food. it does not matter if it took you 13min to get your food. Ball up your fries, Grab anything you can stick into your pockets that wont go bad
2.All army food needs ketchup. EVERYTHING is boiled and overcooked.
3.High moral. i know this doesn't seem important but the army shits on everyone, not matter how bad it is. it can/will get worse. high moral helps pass thou the shit storm.
4.Don't kiss ass but also don't go out of your way to make it known your not an ass kisser. I have never kissed ass but i steped on some ego's early on. hence 4 years in and still no promotion.
5.When you can have fun with radios. but use correct radio procedure to do so. like call out attractive looking girls in a convoy. or do so with out letting people know who you are and. Randoly meow in the radio. start a tim hortons run by getting other peoples orders. pretend your talking into a mcdonalds drive thou mic.
6.Salute Salute Salute. anytime you see an officer. because a. it pisses them off. b. cant get in trouble for saluting. even when you dont need to but if you dont and they want to be a dick they can Jack you up!
7.ketchup. i cant stress this enough.
8.ration packs. save everything. it will be usefull for pranks or just a moral boost later.
9. Dress and deportment. Being the best looking man in nato does take some time :)
10.Gym is free go early go often!
that is IT.
Jog on!

parrie dog.

i was wondering how stupid these Parrie dogs are. and my answer is VERY stupid.
im talking like bud lite guy times a million!
since Friday i have
kicked one because he walked on my foot
watch one run into a car and get squished
run into a wall when i chased it.
eat their own dead.
like really.
its like hamilton squirrels that have inbred for a few hundred years with some sort of retarded gopher.
but what really pisses me off. is the random fucking holes that they make.
everywhere.
i walk the same path to the gym everyday at 545 and today my foot fell into a hole made by one of these part squirrel part gopher full retard.
other than that i have to say i have never seen so much rain EVER. like really. i have 76 days untill im home that means ive been here for 24 and its been clear for ONE whole day.

other than that rant alberta is pretty cool. cheep car insurance so if i do get my bike its going to be cheep cheep cheep on insurance! its going to be awesome! just have to try to find a job for when i get home.

anywho mess is closing and i have to go.

Greeting from wainwrongistan

hello one and all. im commenting from a pirated wifi signal.
thats right mofo's if you think your cool putting your password as password. you deserved to be hacked. :)

but on other news let me up date you on things that is happening right now.
A: im trying to get this super cool bike.
i know what your thinking, "hey grant don't you already have a super cool bike in hamilton." and thats just it! its in Hamilton
but its a Suzuki Gsx-R600. and all im waiting on right now is a Co-signer. hopefully i can get one! im pumped!
B: im working with Armored vehicles which is fucking awesome except for the random hull monster
and finally im going on a marathon run sometime in september so anyone reading this give me random texts telling me to stop being lazy and go for a run. it can and will be helpfull

OMG ALBERTA!

so hears the thing.
 if you did not know I'm out in Alberta. Yes Alberta. beautiful place, not many gas stations, and i get to share a bathroom with a roommate.

So my First Friday out here i get my good buddy Ryan Rees to pick me up from Wainwright. (very small and shitty town) Any who Rees decides to test drive this jimmy that he is going to buy, sad thing is that it has a small leak in his gas tank. so we get to Ministik a small town with a gas station that closes at like 5pm!

 

So that's where the jimmy broke down, i know eh, then Rees gets the idea to turn into a school parking lot hidden from vehicles passing to show them that we are in need of help.
and its down a hill.
so after many failed attempts of going up this hill, we FINALLY got up the hill and with in 10 mins we had a red silverado pull over, and who was in it?
her name was Leah. about 5 foot nothing girl.
she was smoking hot. and this is when Rees make the statement that "this is how all horror movies start"
but Leah decided to stay.
so i jump in and dive to the nearest gas station and its closed, and she drives back to the jimmy and shes like the next closest gas station is like 30 mins away.
We pile into her truck and its just a bucket seat so we are pretty crowded be on this trip i learn how to do a few simple things.
1. use a Tim Hortons coffee cup to hide your beer can so your passengers can drink when you drive.
2. that country girls are crazy and not all of them listen to just country some listen to metal.
3. that this girl has the hot for an out of province army guy.

so we shoot the shit and when we get back i grab her number off her and she said shes heading into edmonton for the night for a friends party, so i was to give her a shout later that night. i ended up given her a call but i was in the bag when i did and i left a drunken message.
the next day i got a text saying sorry she missed my call but would love to hang out sometime, so i must of made a good impression :)

so yeah when your car runs out of gas. don't think of it as a bad thing. good always comes out of something bad.

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

peace out nukka!